wife unhappy marriage quotes

 funny marriage quotes

1. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

2. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

3. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

4. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade." - Anonymous

5. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash." - Joyce Brothers

6. "Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener." - Anonymous

7. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

8. "The key to a successful marriage is to argue naked." - Anonymous

9. "Marriage is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but it's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride." - Unknown

10. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Anonymous

marriage quotes funny

11. "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." - Mae West

12. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

13. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." - Ann Bancroft

14. "I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it." - Elizabeth Evans

15. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

16. "The four most important words in any marriage: I'll do the dishes." - Anonymous

17. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman

18. "Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead." - Unknown

19. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug." - Anonymous

20. "I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, 'Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.' So I bought her nothing." - Anonymous

21. "Marriage is like a fine wine. If tended to properly, it gets better with age. If not, it turns into vinegar." - Anonymous

22. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield

23. "Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

24. "Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories." - John Wilmot

25. "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Unknown

26. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade." - Unknown

27. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'" - Unknown

28. "Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life." - Unknown

29. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

30. "A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day." - Andre Maurois

31. "The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." - Groucho Marx

32. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

33. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

34. "A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." - Unknown

35. "My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food, and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays." - Henry Youngman

36. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." - Rodney Dangerfield

37. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

38. "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin

39. "Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up." - Evelyn Hendrickson

40. "The key to a successful marriage is to argue over how the dishwasher is loaded." - Unknown

41. "Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes." - Jim Carrey

42. "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Unknown

43. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous

44. "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." - Samuel Johnson

45. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug." - Anonymous

46. "Marriage is like a fine wine, if tended to properly, it only gets better with age. However, if left to sour, it turns into something unbearable." - Unknown

47. "Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops." - Unknown

48. "If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears." - Sigmund Freud

49. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield

50. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." - Anonymous